Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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