Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
