U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
its not stalking. its research.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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