i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
