After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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