I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
