if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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