Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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