yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
