we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
