Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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