He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
