At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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