She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
