i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Barsexuality is the new black.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
