he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
