I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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