Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
