i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We need to get me chipped asap
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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