what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
