I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
