I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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