Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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