Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
