i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
