You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
