they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He has the fingertips of a God
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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