Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
