Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Small penises have feelings too.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
