I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
