what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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