I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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