I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
