Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Randomize
