And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize