birth control should be required to get into college
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I came so hard my ears popped.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
