I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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