her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
