sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
