I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
