Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
