I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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