Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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