I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
