Plan B is the new Plan A
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
