we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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