You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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