did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
