Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize