I got chris browned last night
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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