Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
