you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
