but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
