still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
