I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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