hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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