If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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