I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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