We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
