drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
