i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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